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Sometimes, when I am walking outside I will simply stare at the world around me. It is funny how we can live our whole life without ever really living. To simply exist. I sometimes wonder if I am truly meant to be something in this world. I always seem to look at things so much differently than everyone else. I smile when others are silent, I laugh when no one is around…I am different. When I am all alone I feel as though I am mere inches from some great truth that I am supposed to find and understand, but can never reach. As though the path I am following is of my own making and yet, not at all, at the same time. I wish I knew what to do. The human mind is indeed the most amazing and powerful of computers. Transient and temporary though it is. It is very powerful. The most unnerving of questions that this computer can pose is ‘why?’ Why do we do what we do? Will anything but our own advancement come of it? We go from one mundane task to another yet never really accomplish. It would be an understatement to say she was “sexually experienced.” That slim woman told me she’d had dozens and dozens of lovers, of both sexes. She’d never had a steady relationship, for various reasons. But I got the impression that she was at the same stage in life I was, where she was looking for the right person.She asked me, point-blank, if I was in a sexual relationship now, and if I wanted one with her. I told her that I didn’t have much experience with sex ... Kay was the only woman I’d had sex with, in fact. “Well, then,” she said, “if it isn’t good sex, it’s my fault, not yours. But let’s give it a try. No strings attached. If the chemistry’s there, we may have something. If not, what have we lost? Nothing!”So off we went to her apartment, which was small but exquisitely furnished. The artwork on the wall showed me that she had great taste and a lot of money to spend on just the right painting. The place had a bathroom with a huge tub, which turned out to be a hot tub as.
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